So, Anthesteria is over, and I want to detail some of what I did, since I was a little busy this weekend and did not get a chance to write in any detail.

Day One was a hard one, I was busy at work and by the time I got home it was well into the night and I was exhausted. So I sat and wrote the first poem in honor of the festival. (It is on the Day One blog entry) and extinguished the fires of my central altar which normally remains on all day. This marked the beginning of the festival, since the altars of the Gods and their temples were closed off during this festival.

I burned incense and lit oil candles at my small altar to Dionysos.

I also burned three incense sticks in a soap stone burner that I carried through my home, inviting the God to enter and be welcome here.

I took this opportunity contemplate the underworld aspects of Dionysos. I do not normally use actual historical epithest when I worship, tending to think in either English or Spanish or Portuguese when I do so, and this was no exception. I contemplated the god as Dying God, Resurrected God, as Demi-God (linked to mortality) and as bringer of ecstasies and mystery. As God of wine, he was also a god of transcendence. A god who could take the human mind into states of being that allowed us to look beyond our own small perceptions of the world.

Because I don't believe in an afterlife, I sometimes have trouble relating to these aspects of the Gods. Since the ancients and myself have distinctly different views on death, I have to basically find my own meaning, and perhaps share it. So, here goes:

Gods of the Underworld, especially Gods like Dionysos, Persephone, and Hekate, imply a certain transcendental quality to divinity. They transcend the different dimensions of being, of space time, and of the higher planes that we human beings do not actually perceive on a sensory level. Because of this, I have come to see the universe and the Gods, and especially these three Gods, as being responsible for life as we know it because they emanate through the various dimensions of the universe, in a way linking them to each other. For us, as third and fourth dimensional beings (3 dimensional space and time) we rely on the fact that the first and second dimensional spaces are linked to the third and all three to the fourth (time) and it is these dimensional relations that we call the Underworld (The first and second dimensions of universal space) and the very highest dimension (tenth) as Olympus.

That these Gods work their miracles, or magic if you prefer, in the lower and upper dimensional spaces simultaneously is what gives us the ability to perceive the Gods at all (all Gods do this to some extent or another).

This is why I honor Underworld Gods with some reverence and with much more frequency than you might expect from someone who does not believe in an afterlife.

The Second day I worked and came home to a something of a depressing time. This day I had set aside for remembrance, and as a result I was drawn into darker times in my life. The love of my life, Tony, died in 1992 of AIDS related brain tumors. I have always harbored some guilt at the fact that he had HIV/AIDS and I was and still am negative, and this was brought strongly to the fore this day. But I decided top go out that evening and celebrate the good memories rather than his ending, and wrote a poem that was very much my ay of rejecting the guilt. Dionysos gave me this.

The third and final day was quiet and fun for me. I didn't have to work and I spent the day at home. Cleaning, awaiting the sunset so I could once more light my altars and invite all the Gods into my home and life once more. I wrote a piece to both Dionysos and Persephone, and let the good memories I'd captured the night before flow through me as I banished the ghosts of the dead back into the "underworld" where they belong.

Blessed may you be, and I hope you will join me in the future for my other celebrations.

This is to both Lord Dionysos and Lady Persephone on this the last night of my Anthesteria celebration. The focus for me today is in the idea of driving the dead away. In sending them back to the Underworld. Now, for me, this is a matter of psychological health more than any literal idea of an Underworld, thus it is about putting the pain and memories that are hurtful to us as we hold on too long to the dead behind us and moving on to a better, more prosperous, and healthy life.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
The temples are closed, the light of day is waning, your time on Earth is over.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
The sacred ladies carry their offerings to the God of the Vine, that the blessed Lady below may welcome you once more.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
Where we will release you that we may move on, and be forever reminded of your lives.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
Let my voice move you forth, that I may say good bye, and be healed.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
Where the Underworld awaits you, though I wish I could keep you near, where you now belong.

To the marshes!
Go! To the marshes!
And may I always remember you fondly and without regret.

For my beloved Antonio Martinez, lost to me so long ago, but never my heart to heal.

There is a hole in my heart
It was where you once lived
That place that hurt when I looked at you
And stirred me to lust when I touched you

You are gone now, my soul is bereft
On this day of sorrow I remember
The pleasure of the body you gave me
The joy of mind you caused

Your pain was ended
My pain today is selfish
Because i miss you with every moon that passes
And I wish you were here with me

But tomorrow I must push you away
Back to the world below where you belong
To the place where I can't touch you
Or make love to you as I once did

But today you roam the world
And I swear I can feel your breath on my skin
As my mind is loosed to the whim of the God
And my doubt is left behind

I remember you and smile
Like I did when you were with me
When the world was full of light
And my eyes were open to your glee

Today I began my celebration of Anthesteria by writing a short poem/hymn in honor of Dionysos, followed by meditations on his nature, and imbibing of much liquor.

When in darkness I called you
You came
And in the light of your presence, I saw
The darkness was only your absence
My blindness only my unwillingness to see

When in the light I feared you
You are frightening
And in my fear I was emboldened
The fear was only my ignorance
My ignorance only my unwillingness to hear

When in rapture I felt you
You silenced me
And in the silence I was engulfed
The silence but moment of utter ecstasy
My ecstasy a sign of my acceptance

I made a mistake in how I calculated the date of the Anthesteria, so this has put me into a pickle as I am not prepared, but with what I have and a trip to Sterling Studios today, I will be ready to offer up my offerings and celebrate the Anthesteria come Friday.

I found some fantastic incense at Incense Guru and purchased it. I think the Gods will be pleased. I am also going down to Sterling Studios in the Oregon District in Dayton, Ohio to find a piece I can buy as an offering to the blessed Dionysos. I have had much luck finding nice pieces there, as well as fabrics, beads, and a variety of incense burners for a variety of uses.

I should have more than a good Anthesteria if things continue to go well...

Found some stuff yesterday, some nice wine which I have blessed and asked the God to keep until Anthesteria by placing it in a special chest, and I also found a lovely piece of artificial vines with grape clusters, that was a bit pricey, but astonishingly life like. I will decorate the special altar with it as well as a few other items, and after Anthesteria has passed, it will form as decoration for the Altar of The Gods in my bedroom where I honor the Gods (meaning the male Gods)

I also saw a nice wooden pole and dowel that I can make a Thyrsos from.

Anthesteria will be in about 8 weeks, and my preparations are already beginning with the posting of this festival section on the Heliogenna page.

I will prep the purchases of flowers, wine, the making of a Thyrsos. I may make it with a curtain rod and dowel and add live ivy and raffia by clumping hard dirt in the dowel and basically planting the ivy in it, but have to work out the details of how to keep the ivy alive while not spreading dirt everywhere the thyrsos is.

I will write some hymns or poems meant for prayer, and build myself a small altar meant for use only on this, so natural and biodegradable materials are a must.

More to come...